30 Ways to Become a More Likeable Person

A likeable person is one who is pleasant, friendly, and easy to like.
A likeable person is seen as approachable and personable because he is open-minded and willing to talk to and listen to many different people.
He avoids having preconceived notions or passing judgment on others but is willing to hear others out and get different points of view.

What do the behaviours look like that naturally and organically make you a likeable person?

Here are 30 that will make a difference in any relationship, workplace, organization, or community:
#1. Treat people like the talented, creative, resourceful, and innovative adults they are. When people see that you value them, they will naturally like you.
#2. Hold yourself to high standards. Own what you do or don’t do; silence speaks, too. Be responsible, my friend.
#3. Be very good at what you do. Competence is a litmus test for believability and likeability. 
#4. Be self-managed, self-motivated, and self-aware.
#5. Do what you say you’ll do; model what you say matters to you, i.e. behavioural integrity.
#6. See people as individuals, not roles; show respect, kindness, and consideration.
#7. Ask questions. People love talking about themselves. So, if you want to help people feel happy and engaged, giving them the freedom to talk about themselves and refraining from monopolizing conversations is one of the easiest ways to do it. That starts by asking great questions.
#8. Listen carefully. It’s not enough to ask questions; you need to really listen. We crave empathy and tend to like those who offer it to us.
The good news is that anybody can develop this skill even if you don’t consider yourself a good listener. Try these five practices:
  • Be fully present.
  • See it from their perspective.
  • Clarify and echo key points.
  • Focus on them, not your response.
  • Develop genuine curiosity.
#9. Be fair. Engage people in the process. Fairness is about involvement, transparency, and clarity, not support, sameness or agreement.
#10. Check your assumptions, beliefs, and facts.
#11. Pay more attention to what people do right than wrong. See the good, first.
#12. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Get beyond the me.
#13. Look in people’s eyes. Looking into people’s eyes communicates interest and worth.
#14. Keep perspective if things go wrong or setbacks happen (personal ones, too).
#15. Be risk-free. Minimize the fear others’ might have sharing their ideas, thoughts, feedback, and dreams with you.
#16. Actions. Behaviours. Words. They all count and have ripples. Use caution.
#17. Know what matters to the people around you.
#18. Show appreciation. Notice what others do to make things easier or better for you; say thank-you.
#19. Remember people’s names. This isn’t easy for most of us. And that’s all the more reason to try to improve. It sets you apart and gives you an edge. Why? People love being remembered and acknowledged by name.
#20. Smile more. Smiling is ground zero for likability. It puts people at ease and draws them in. It’s also contagious, so it lifts everyone’s mood. Of course, the reverse is also true.
#21. Offer feedback with positive intention, no personal agenda, and helpful consideration.
#22. Be responsive. Answer messages. Help others get answers; share your knowledge.
#23. Consider the stories you tell, the tweets or links you send, the pictures you post as equivalent to the words you speak. They’re telling about you.
#24. Be known for how you show up; how you walk-your-talk.
#25. Stand for something that others can articulate by your actions.
#26. Help people see the why behind the what.
#27. Operate, at least most days, from a grounded best-of-self place.
#28. Be someone people want to work with. Make it easy and enjoyable to work with you.
#29. Be grateful. If you want to make people feel as if their contribution really matters, take note and show gratitude. When a teammate does something positive or helpful, recognize it. When people feel valued by others, they usually respond in kind.
#30. Give more than you take.
As Michael Hyatt puts it, “If you want to be likeable, demonstrate that you like people.”

All it takes is the ability to pick up the social skills that build emotional intelligence.

Sure Ways to Avoid Being Unlikeable

Your likeability, to a large extent, defines your ability to establish meaningful connections with others. People considered “likeable” exhibit specific traits and can avoid certain behaviours to maintain good relationships.

A study conducted at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) in 2016 revealed that highly likeable people exhibit traits like transparency, sincerity, empathy, and a capacity for understanding others. These personality tendencies have often been associated with the concept of emotional intelligence.

Identifying and avoiding these eight behaviours or unlikeable traits can help you project the best you have to offer.

1. In place of ‘a Negative Attitude’, switch to ‘a Positive Attitude’.

Exhibiting a negative attitude can directly affect other people around you and lower morale. Consistent complaining or disagreeable behaviour lead to stress within the workplace, loss of friends and loss of reputation.

So smile. Smile all the time.

Even if you are not happy, smiling can almost instantly put you in a better mood and help you have a more positive attitude.

2. Gossiping. No. No. No.

Gossip is one of the most dangerous activities you can engage in when trying to establish good relationships.

Talking about other people’s misdeeds tarnishes your credibility and makes you look negative. How worse when you spread fake rumours!

Say No to gossip, and you have successfully signed up for being an attractive individual.

3. Being chronically late? Come early hereafter.

By regularly showing up late, you are telling others in simple terms that you do not value their time.  By now, you may have better understood that perpetual lateness can seriously undermine your professional reputation.

Do you want to fight the demon called lateness? Get ready early and leave for your appointments on time.

4. Avoid having a ‘Closed Mind.’

People will not want to interact with you if they know you are intolerant of different opinions and unreceptive to new ideas. When we know you have a formed opinion, we conclude that you are unwilling to listen to ours.

Being open-minded makes you approachable and interesting to others.

Eliminate preconceived judgment ASAP and examine every situation from multiple angles. Be an interesting person. Interesting people are curious about the world at large.

5. Do not interrupt others

Even though you have good intentions, interrupting others can be a nasty habit. It can make you look disrespectful, selfish, or megalomaniacally obsessed with keeping the conversation focus on yourself. This behaviour can become a constant source of frustration for others.

The way out? Stop and always listen to make sure other people have finished expressing their thoughts.

6. Pay attention

Not giving people full attention makes you look disrespectful. If you look on your phone, check social media and/or type in an SMS message each time they try to talk to you about an issue, you can leave people feeling ignored and make it unlikely that they will have a strong connection with you. It isn’t very pleasant.

7. Avoid ‘Humble-Bragging.’

What’s humble bragging? It means getting others to know about something you are very proud of in a way that makes it appear as if you are complaining or embarrassed.

A few examples will surface:

Someone may say: “I cannot believe my coworkers nominated me for this award!”

A person may make fun of themselves in front of everybody for having a strict diet, while they really want other people to know how healthy and disciplined they are.

This behaviour can be even more annoying than regular bragging because it is perceived as insincere.

May I say to you that you will not be perceived as pompous if you express how happy you are about an achievement politely and honestly.

8. Ask questions, follow-up questions

Asking many questions increases people’s positive impressions.

Not asking questions during a conversation can make your interlocutor feel like you are not paying attention or that you are simply not interested in what they are saying.

Those who ask for more information with follow-up questions are better liked by their conversation partners.

Follow-up questions show that you commit to a conversation, demonstrating interest, understanding, and validation.

A simple clarification question intimates that you are not only listening but also that you care about what the other is explaining.

For example, if you are not sure you understand the instructions your superior gave you, you should ask for clarification immediately instead of spending days trying to figure it out yourself.

May I say to you that being likeable is entirely under your control. Work on yourself a little bit, and you will develop a superb personality soonest.
Be a likeable person. Thank you.